bingo and shuffleboard
Jason nimbly evaded the swift sword of Damocles and into the safe haven known as the Land of Retirement. This modern-day Canaan, just as its antecedent was rumored to be full of milk and honey, inspired myths and legends about its free-for-use Segway sharing system, automated washer-to-dryer transfer apparatuses, and absence of any form of money (for the Land of Retirement based its unspoken currency on karma).
When he entered, Jason realized that none of the fanciful lore, passed down from generation to generation, had exaggerated the various amenities offered by the Land in any way. All of the stories were true.
And he lived happily ever after until he died of a heart attack. It was painless.